CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR ENGAGEMENT! It is an occasion of great joy for you, your relatives, friends and your parish community. It is also a time to begin plans for your wedding and for your life together. These parish guidelines will help to guide you through this process.
WHO MAY MARRY IN OUR PARISH CHURCH? – Normally, the marriage takes place in the bride’s parish. Either the bride or groom (or your parents) must be registered parishioners of St. Christopher’s, or either bride or groom must have been confirmed. On occasion, couples from outside the parish (with no connection to St. Christopher’s Parish) request the use of our church. If the parish schedule permits, the request may be granted at the discretion of the pastor, given that the couple provide their own priest/deacon to perform the marriage. You must have the Visiting Priest/Deacon Form filled out and signed by your priest/deacon before your date may be confirmed. We will hold your date for one month. Your priest/deacon should be willing to prepare all the paperwork and necessary records, and be available for the rehearsal.
SETTING THE DATE – Only a priest or deacon of St. Christopher’s may set a date with you. A date will be set only after the priest or deacon has personally met with both of you and determined that you are free to marry here. If the couple is from outside the parish, the Visiting Priest/Deacon Form must be returned within one month before the date can be finalized. It is the couple’s responsibility to secure the date and time with the parish before making other commitments. Sufficient time is needed to complete all marriage preparation requirements. (At least six months are needed).
SCHEDULING THE TIME
Friday – 3:30 pm or 4:30 pm. – Mass or Ceremony (except for 1st Friday)
Saturday – 1:00 pm or 2:30 pm. Nuptial Mass or Wedding Ceremony
Sunday – 3:00 pm Mass or Ceremony
Only one wedding per day may be scheduled.
PREPARING FOR YOUR SACRAMENT
1) DOCUMENTATION – Certain documents must be obtained before your marriage may be celebrated. Please note: if either bride or groom has a previous marriage, we must be told immediately!
a) Recent new copies of your baptismal certificates, issued WITHIN SIX MONTHS prior to your wedding by the Church where you were Baptized.
b) Certification of First Communion and Confirmation. (Photo copies of documents are acceptable for this. If you do not have documents, you must contact the Church where the Sacrament took place and ask them to issue a new document).
c) The party who is not a member of St. Christopher’s must contact their parish, inform them that you are getting married at St. Christopher’s , and ask for a letter from your Pastor that states that you are free to marry.
d) You must have written permission from your parents if you are under 18 years.
e) In ecumenical marriages (Catholic and non-Catholic), the Catholic person must make in writing two promises:
- to remain a member of the Catholic Church.
- To do everything possible to raise your child(ren) in the Catholic Faith.
These promises must be understood and accepted by the non-Catholic person.
f) A Marriage License issued by the State of New York.
2) MARRIAGE PREPARATION – Marriage Preparation prepares you for your life together after your wedding. The Archdiocese of New York requires that you participate in a Marriage Preparation course. Our parish will give you a booklet with the dates and locations. You may sign up online at www.flrl.org. sign up well in advance of your wedding date. OR – CATHOLIC marriage Prep Online is also available. Go to www.catholicmarriagepreponline.com. When you complete your Marriage Preparation course, you will receive a certificate. Please keep it with all of your documents. We also invite you to consider attending a course about Natural Family Planning. If used properly, it is as effective as any other method. It is the only family planning method accepted by the Catholic Church. Information is available at www.flrl.org.
3) MEETINGS – At least three meetings should be held in order to prepare you for marriage. You are responsible for calling and making appointments.
Meeting #1 – your date will be set and you will go through all the information on these sheets.
Meeting #2 – discuss your experience at the Marriage Preparation
Workshop. This should be done soon after you attend a program and no later than three months before your wedding.
Meeting #3 – Bring all the required documents and complete the paperwork by filling out the PMI (Pre-Matrimonial Investigation). You will also complete the plans for your wedding and set a rehearsal date. Bring the wedding planning booklet you received at your marriage preparation program. This should be done no later then one month before your wedding.
Marriage Information Sheet (PDF)
Visiting Priest/Deacon Form (PDF)
Music Selection (PDF)
Photo Guidelines (PDF)
PLANNING THE CELEBRATION OF THE SACRAMENT OF MARRIAGE
PLANNING – You will receive a wedding planning book at the Marriage Preparation Workshop. You may use it to plan your wedding. Bring it with you to your 2nd meeting. The priest-deacon will go over it with you and answer any questions that you may have.
MASS OR CEREMONY? - Roman Catholics normally celebrate the Sacrament of Marriage during a Nuptial Mass. Your Sacrament may also be celebrated during a Wedding Ceremony. Wedding Ceremonies at our parish are celebrated by our Deacons. A Marriage between a Catholic and a Baptized Christian may be celebrated at Mass, however, those who are not Catholic may not receive Holy communion. Instead, a blessing can be offered. A Marriage between a Catholic and a person who is not Baptized is always celebrated in a Wedding Ceremony.
MUSIC MINISTRY – Music at your wedding will normally be provided by our parish organist. He is trained in Catholic Liturgy, and he will make it a special experience for you, your family and your friends. On occasion, we receive requests for the use of an outside organist and/or singer who have ties to your family. We strongly discourage this practice, but they will be permitted to be present at your wedding if they are trained professionals with experience at Catholic Weddings.
FEES – The wedding fee for the church is $600 parishioner/$1,200 non-parishioner.
This can be in cash or a check made payable to St. Christopher-St. Sylvia Church. Payment is due when wedding is scheduled, and is required to secure the date.
For the music fee, please contact Erik Cardwell at erikscht@hotmail.com The music fee is separate and is due at the rehearsal. It is also customary to tip the Altar Servers on the day of the Wedding. (Two servers for a Nuptial Mass, one for a Ceremony, usually $20.00 each).
THE SACRAMENT OF PENANCE – You should plan on celebrating this Sacrament sometime before your wedding. Marriage is the beginning of a new life together. The Sacrament of Penance will help you to center your marriage in Christ. The Sacrament is celebrated here on Saturdays from 3:30-4:30 pm. If this is not convenient, please call ahead and make an appointment. If you arrange it ahead of time, a priest may be available for confessions on the night of rehearsal.
THE REHEARSAL – Choose the date and time of your rehearsal at your final meeting. PLEASE BE ON TIME FOR YOUR REHEARSAL! We are on a tight schedule here at St. Christopher’s and there are other activities going on in the parish! Please bring the following to the rehearsal: the wedding planning booklet, the Marriage License and church & music fees.
REHEARSAL PROCEDURES – Before the rehearsal begins, please submit the marriage license, the wedding planning booklet with your selections, and the music fees. You will be instructed to follow these guidelines:
FLOWERS AND DECORATIONS – Only two or three bouquets are allowed. We encourage you to choose colorful arrangements. Flowers should be left in church as a gift to God. Flowers must be removed after the wedding during Advent or Lent. You may have flowers or bows at the end of the pews. They MAY NOT be fastened with tape or tacks. (Try rubber bands!). Other flowers, trees or arches are not permitted. Flower girls may not drop petals in Church. Occasionally, couples wish to light a unity candle. You must provide your own. The wedding candle may not be placed on the altar. A table will be set up specifically for the candle.
PHOTOGRAPHY – Your photographer must be a professional. He/she may take flash pictures during the wedding. Photographers are NEVER permitted in the sanctuary. (this is the area with red carpet). A video photographer is welcome. Make sure he/she understands that NO LIGHTS ARE PERMITTED in Church. This is an ARCHDIOCESAN POLICY. He/she must be prepared to use existing Church lighting throughout the wedding. If these guidelines are not followed, the wedding will stop and your photographer(s) will be asked to leave the Church. Do not abuse this privilege. We ask that when you hire your photographer(s), bring the attached guidelines sheet and let him/her read them and agree to them before you hire them.
OUTSIDE THE CHURCH – The throwing of rice, birdseed or any other item is not permitted due to liability concerns.
A FINAL WORD – We hope that you will find these guidelines helpful. They are intended to ensure a reverent and joyful celebration of the Sacrament of Marriage. It is our conviction that time and effort spent preparing now for your Sacrament will help to ensure a lifetime together! We look forward to celebrating your Sacrament with you! May Christ abundantly bless your love for each other, and fill you with His peace!